Did you know that research suggests that as many as 80 percent of women have difficulty reaching orgasm from strictly vaginal intercourse? This means that the majority of women require a little help (toys, clitoral stimulation, etc.), are likely not having orgasms at all, or simply put, they are FAKING IT!
“Many women aren’t allowing themselves to enjoy sex, because honestly it was never encouraged that they do so. And because of this, many women aren’t reaching the point of orgasm often or even at all,” writes sexual health educator and columnist Sexpert Tyomi on her blog, GlamErotica101.com.
Faking your enjoyment of sex is not only detrimental to your relationship, it benefits no one. Yes, you might protect your lover’s pride/ego, but ultimately you are only hurting the both of you. After so much time lying to your partner you are bound to find yourself in a pickle when you finally decide you are ready to come clean.
This isn’t fair to either person in the relationship, and providing false confidence just to take it away is a far worse position to put someone in than to tell them early on you need to be sexed in a different way. You deserve to receive just as much pleasure as you give. Here are a few tips to axe the faking it habit.
1. Stop the cycle.
The fake the Big O syndrome is nothing but a self-perpetuating cycle. So many women have been doing it for so long that men continue to think that thrusting like a jackhammer is the perfect way to make their woman satisfied, when in fact, most women require clitoral stimulation to reach their climax. Just think of it this way: keeping it real with your partner means one less clueless man, and one more happy lady on this earth!
2. Watch your delivery.
You’ve spent so much time lying to protect your lover’s feelings, and even sacrificed your own satisfaction. Don’t go blowing your partner’s pride by just coming out and saying it. How do you think it would sound after months of pretending to have had the best sex life ever to admit that it sucks? Try the safer route with giving directions in the moment. Instead of focusing on what was wrong in the past try giving your partner some tips on what to do in the present.
3. Remember that you have the same goal.
Just remember that in a healthy sexual relationship both partners want the same goal: to give each other mind-blowing orgasms and foster a physical connection. Tell your partner what feels good and what you like. In the moment affirmations are often best. If he makes a move that makes you scream (in a good way), whisper in his ear that you like it that way.
4. Suggest experimenting.
If you aren’t quite an expert on how to reach your climax, try suggesting some fun ways to get you there. Be open to different positions and possibly even toys. Make your partner feel included in learning what makes you feel good.
Beauty and hair maven Naomi Mackenzie is a freelance writer and business consultant. Her passion is to continuously keep up with the ever evolving techniques and topics as it relates to skin and hair, while helping others to embrace their own definition of beauty in a healthy way. Her blog, KissTheChaos (www.KissTheChaos.com) shares both an educated and personal perspective, sought to spark ongoing discussion. Follow her on Instagram at @oOolala_laa and on Facebook.
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