Forgiveness is something that all of have to go through at one point or another in our lives.
Forgiving a mate, a friend or even a family member. Forgiveness even hits celebrities as well, just ask gospel superstar Kirk Franklin.
The popular singer/songwriter never had a relationship with his dad and got a phone call saying that he was dying.
How would you react? Let him die and not try to reach out or try to find closure in his final moments?
Because Franklin said he had held resentment for his father for putting him up for adoption, it was a tough decision whether or not he wanted to reconnect with his dad before his death.
Still, the 49-year-old singer decided to do something that he said changed his life forever.
“Two days ago, I received an anonymous call that my biological father, who I never knew, has 3-6 months to live,” explains Franklin on his Instagram.
“I’ve lived my entire life hating this man. He and my biological mother gave me up for adoption, and it left me never feeling good enough….to this very day.”
“I took my hate for him and used it as fuel to be the best father I could be for my own. But what I did wrong, is I never took that fuel, and turn it into
forgiveness….and that is wrong. Wrong for him, me, and the God I proclaim to represent. How can I preach what I don’t practice?”
“So I flew to Houston yesterday to do that. It’s painful, it’s a process, but how disappointed I would be in myself for this man to leave this earth without being forgiven. He deserves to receive what God gives me every day. Pray for him, and for me. God this is hard…I weep as I write.”
“So many emotions. Being abandoned, being adopted, and when I got that call, I knew I didn’t want to continue living in that,” Franklin told his followers in a video posted on his Instagram page.
“So, I fought past it, moved past it and got on the plane, and I’m so glad I did. I just got a call tonight that
he passed.”
According to the Bowen Theory, the tension created within a family relationship negatively affects other relationships in that structure and when this tension is heightened or lasts for a long time, clinical problems can occur.
It’s important to confront tension because it never disappears, the theory says. Even when family members become emotionally cut off from their family, they can’t fully run away from it.
Those same issues will manifest in any “substitute” families they create. Many psychologists cite forgiveness as a major factor in letting go of such negative emotions.
Franklin’s childhood was riddled with
disappointment. He was raised by his aunt, Gertrude, having been abandoned as a baby by his mother and never knowing his real father.
Gertrude collected and resold aluminum cans to raise money for Kirk to take piano lessons from the age of four. Kirk excelled in music, being able to read and write music, while also playing by ear.
He received his first contract offer at the age of seven, which his aunt turned down.
He joined the church choir and became music director of the Mt. Rose Baptist Church adult choir at the age of twelve.
Despite his strict religious upbringing, Franklin rebelled in his teenage years, and in an attempt to keep him out of trouble, his grandmother arranged an audition for him at a professional youth conservatory associated with a local university.
He was accepted, but later he had to
deal with a girlfriend’s pregnancy and his eventual expulsion from school for behavioral problems.
After the shooting death of a friend, Franklin returned to the church, where he began to direct the choir once again. He also co-founded gospel groups, gained notoriety, all of which led to him being signed and the rest is history.
Now, Franklin is a dedicated father, husband, and worshiper whom many call a mentor. Our continued prayers go out to Kirk and the entire family.
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