Dating is rarely easy for anyone. But when you live with a disfiguring skin disease like psoriasis, you have another layer of anxiety to add to the everyday stresses of finding a partner. For many people living with the condition, insecurities about their appearance and fear of rejection get in the way of romance. But having psoriasis doesn’t have to prevent you from finding your happily ever after—and in some ways, it might even help.
Dating With Psoriasis: How to break the news
Unlike sexually transmitted diseases, psoriasis is not contagious. But as with STDs, most people want to explain psoriasis to people they’re dating so that they’re prepared when they see it and understand they can’t catch it. That’s tricky, because you may fear that telling the truth is a one-way ticket to rejection.
The common question people ask is, will my condition be the deal-breaker? If it is, it’s a sign that the relationship wasn’t meant to be. In that way, the disease serves almost as a litmus test for future mates by separating the good from the bad right out of the gate.
If clothing covers your lesions, you have a little more time to broach the topic. Here’s how to do it when you’re ready.
Timing is everything
Wait until you have developed some comfort with the person. Wait for the relationship to develop enough that you trust that the person will respond in a caring and respectful way. It is usually not a huge issue if the emotional relationship has been developed already. Experts and people with psoriasis agree that telling someone before the relationship is about to get physical works best so it’s not a surprise and doesn’t bring the fun to a halt.
Dating With Psoriasis: Find your own approach
Tell a potential partner in a confident and direct manner. Explain that your immune system is misreading things and that your body is producing more skin cells than it should, and that this is what it looks like. Then try to answer their questions as best as you can.
Telling a partner in such a way could work to your advantage. If the partner sees that you have confidence in yourself with this condition, they will probably be more attracted to you.
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