6 Reasons Breastfeeding Can Be Hard (and How to Make It Easier)

As natural an act as breastfeeding is, it can also be one of the most challenging.

But why?

Why is this bonding experience and vital developmental relationship between mother and child sometimes so difficult? For something that confers so many powerful benefits to the health of a baby, it’s certainly far from effortless.

Actually, many mothers even stop early due to these obstacles. It’s not about personal preference or a lack of commitment. It’s about very real issues that demand attention, planning, and practical solutions.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the process of feeding an infant or toddler, do not lose hope. Many women are experiencing these exact difficulties, and it’s in no way their fault.

Rather, successful breastfeeding hinges on a confluence of factors, many of which can be understood more deeply thanks to modern research and discovery.

Ready to understand why these challenges are happening? Are you seeking everyday solutions or helpful suggestions to make the whole thing easier? For yourself and the health of your child?

Here are six reasons breastfeeding can be hard, and what you can do to overcome them…

1. Latching Complications 

You may think that latching should come naturally, totally free of discomfort and failure, but this is rarely the case. In fact, a poor latch is one of the most common reasons mothers experience pain and stop breastfeeding in just the first few weeks.

A shallow latch can also cause nipple damage and lead to poor milk transfer, jeopardizing your child’s nutritional intake.

If you’re struggling with latching complications, certain approaches may help significantly. These approaches include not just positions, but techniques and preconditions as well. 

Consider the following if unsuccessful latching persists:

• Feed at early hunger cues when your child is calm.
• Hold your baby tummy-to-tummy, so he or she is nose level with the nipple. 
• When holding, support the neck & shoulders more than the head.
• As you bring your baby to the breast, wait for a wide-open mouth, then latch chin-first. 
• When aiming the nipple, align it toward the nose/roof of the mouth. 
• Aim for a deep, asymmetric latch so that more areola is above the top lip, with the chin pressed into the breast.
• Shape the breast as needed if your baby needs a larger mouthful. 
• If breasts are engorged, soften them first with your hand.
• Break the suction and re-latch if it hurts.
• Try laid-back positions or skin-to-skin if pain persists.

Fortunately, many medical clinics, specialists, and hospitals can assist as soon as problems arise. In fact, early education and training can even preempt many latching problems we see today. Before discharge after pregnancy, hospitals will often provide the hands-on support you need.

Personalized treatment is key. As studies indicate, guided counseling with lactation consultants can significantly improve breastfeeding effectiveness, sometimes within just the first 48 hours postpartum.

One of the most important things you can do early on is to try different positions. 

The following are typically employed to optimize latching: 

• Laid-back: For this, recline and place the baby lengthwise on your chest or stomach so they can latch with natural instincts.
• Cradle: During this, your baby’s head rests in the crook of your arm on the same side as the breast, with their body wrapped around you.
• Cross-cradle: This involves supporting your baby’s head with your opposite hand to improve control and visibility during latching.
• Football: Simply tuck the baby under your arm like a football – particularly useful if you have twins or larger breasts.
• Side-lying: Lie on your side facing your baby, with the mouth level with your nipple.

As mentioned above, ensure your baby’s mouth covers a large portion of the areola, and if pain persists beyond a few days, reach out to a professional for assistance right away.

2. Low Milk Supply

Concerns over inadequate milk supply are nothing new. During growth spurts or when a new mother is returning to work, these concerns can grow even larger. For many Black mothers, perceived low supply is a leading cause of early weaning.

But here’s where a little extra information can help.

Mothers should understand that frequent feeding or pumping signals the body to produce more milk. This stimulation is key, so whenever possible, aim for increased skin-to-skin contact, hydration, and nutrition. In terms of the latter, taking fenugreek may noticeably improve breast milk secretion compared to mothers who don’t take it.

Also, be sure to track output and any gains in your baby’s weight, rather than relying solely on how full your breasts feel. In some cases, mothers may think they’re producing a low supply when they’re actually producing enough once their technique and feeding frequency are optimized.

According to the CDC, mothers can track the following to determine if their baby is in the normal ranges: 

• Diaper output (urine) – Typically, one to three wet diapers per day for the first couple of days, with at least six wet diapers per day on/after day five. The urine should be clear or pale.
• Diaper output (stools) – In this case, one to two black/tarry stools are normal for the first couple of days, while after the fourth and fifth days, the baby should have at least three to four yellow, seedy stools per day.
• Feeding frequency/duration – Feeding is obviously critical. Your baby will likely need eight to 12 feedings in a 24-hour period, about every two to three hours. A typical session can last anywhere from 10 minutes to over 45 minutes. 
• Weight gain – Weight can fluctuate. You may expect to see your child lose up to 10 percent of his or her initial birth weight in just the first few days. By the 10-day to two-week period, it’s normal to see a regain of birth weight. Following that point, your baby can experience an average increase of roughly ~5-8 oz per week. Pediatrician weigh-ins and growth charts can help.

It’s important to remember that every baby is different, and while a single marker may appear ‘abnormal,’ it’s vital to look at it all collectively. Always discuss individual patterns with a pediatrician or International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC).

RELATED: 15 Breastfeeding Secrets For Every New Black Mom

3. Returning to Work Challenges

Work can be challenging enough, but when you’re a new mother and you’re caring for a brand new human being? For some, it can be absolutely overwhelming…

Then, add in the fact that Black mothers frequently face greater challenges in breastfeeding due to their employment structure. As research indicates, many African American women are more likely to work in jobs with less flexibility and fewer opportunities for paid leave.

Given these limited maternity resources and support structures, it’s no wonder such barriers continue.

This is why it’s important to know your rights under the PUMP Act.

As a strategic move, you should always plan any pumping session in advance and build up a supply before returning. Some mothers find they can successfully pump during breaks and then store milk according to the CDC’s guidelines, which allow you to refrigerate milk for up to four days or freeze it for longer.

Thankfully, some workplaces now even offer dedicated lactation spaces – so speak up and ask about your options. 

4. Pain, Nipple Soreness, and Engorgement

Sore nipples and engorgement can sometimes feel unbearable, especially in those early weeks when new mothers are trying to figure it all out.

Don’t get discouraged.

While issues like improper latch, tongue-tie in the baby, or oversupply may seem insurmountable at the time, they often improve with time and practice.

One potential solution is to use lanolin or hydrogel pads for soothing. Just make sure you’re getting a good latch, and if pain persists, you should definitely consider an evaluation for tongue-tie. This is basically a physical check by a doctor or lactation specialist that determines if your baby’s tongue movement is restricted. In some cases, a tight strip of skin called the frenulum may be causing the restriction. 

As for engorgement?

Often, gentle hand expressions or warm compresses right before feeding can help. But don’t wait too long. If your pain is severe, don’t just ‘suck it up.’ 

If the following symptoms occur, seek medical attention promptly:

• Significant or persistent pain that continues beyond the first few days, or pain that returns later.
• Pain with latching or feeding that does not improve after adjusting the position and latch.
• Signs of engorgement, plugged ducts, or early inflammation that do not ease within 12–24 hours of resting, cold packs, and gentle massage.
• Possible mastitis or infection, including: high fever, flu-like symptoms such as aching and chills, and red, swollen, warm and/or hard breast areas.
• Nipple or breast pain that comes with itching, shiny/flaky skin, and/or shooting/burning pains. 
• Noticeable changes in the milk. 
• Recurrent pains, abscesses, or severe discomfort that interferes with feeding and daily life. 

Remember: early help is always best. 

Seek professional evaluation – it could help transform the experience for you and your baby.

5. Lack of Familial and Community Support

Sometimes, you just feel alone.

This is natural and no reason for shame or embarrassment. In fact, breastfeeding can feel isolating for many reasons, particularly when family members push formula or question your choices. The issue is worsened when cultural myths – and differences between generations – also get in the way.

Finding yourself burdened by these layered challenges?

That’s perfectly okay. Firstly, take a breather; you’ve earned it. Secondly, know that seeking support is not a sign of weakness or failure, but actually a sign of strength. It means you’re willing to admit you need assistance, have the courage and sound mind to seek it, and are actively focused on solving problems rather than ignoring or accepting them.

One thing you can do immediately is join Black breastfeeding support groups. You can additionally connect with lactation consultants who understand these unique cultural contexts. Finally, you can have open conversations with your family about your goals.

While some families may become contentious over this issue, others will eventually come around. In fact, many grandmothers may become the strongest advocates once they see the benefits and feel included.

RELATED: 5 Essential Tips for Breastfeeding After a C-Section

6. Misinformation and Unrealistic Expectations

Don’t let ‘perfect’ representations online convince you of something that isn’t possible.

While social media can be a valuable tool, it can also contribute to unrealistic pictures of breastfeeding, which can lead to self-doubt when reality sets in.

So, follow the evidence.

Turn to trusted professionals and, when adhering to guidelines and protocols, ensure that they’re coming from authoritative sources, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). 

At the end of the day, you don’t have to do exactly what other mothers are doing. Some mothers exclusively breastfeed, while others combine feeding methods. No two approaches are exactly the same or necessarily ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’

Again, this is a personalized process, and what is best for you and your baby will likely differ.

Which is why you should never give up prematurely! Despite the challenges, breastfeeding offers significant advantages. After all, breast milk provides optimal nutrition and antibodies that protect your baby against infections. And for mothers, it can help to aid postpartum recovery, even reducing risks of certain cancers.

Black infants may particularly benefit given certain higher rates of infections and chronic conditions.

Never forget: breastfeeding is a skill that takes time to master. Challenges are common and do not reflect your worth or ability as a mother.

It’s a process for a reason, and one that you can come to embrace and love with proper support. With the right resources and strategies, many mothers can overcome their obstacles and enjoy positive, fulfilling breastfeeding experiences.

Whether it’s only a few days, a few months, or longer, your efforts matter.

Your baby is your world and deserves your best. You’ve got this!