Social media is one of the most common places people meet and date online. Many young people don’t even ask for phone numbers anymore, they ask for the woman’s instagram to connect with her instead.
Such was the case for 32-year-old model India Ali. A handsome young stranger, James Baker, 27, had found her on Instagram and started communicating privately before deciding to set up a date with him.
They went out to eat and drink, but then after that, everything went downhill.
It all came to light the terrifying moment when she woke up naked and bloody in a pool of her own vomit.
“I lifted up my head and saw all the throw-up. My face was laying in it on the floor,” the Los Angeles mother of two told the Daily News Wednesday.
“I got up and looked on the bed. There was blood everywhere. I made my way to the bathroom and saw bloody towels on the floor,” she recalled.
Then she looked in the mirror.
“That’s when I saw how beat up I was. It was like I was in a dream, like a nightmare actually. It was a numb, heavy feeling in my head. I was so dazed,” she recalled.
“I thought what if they come back and see I’m alive and really try to kill me? I felt they left me for dead but by the good grace of God I woke up,” Ali told KTLA.
She grabbed her purse but couldn’t find her car keys or phone inside. That’s right, not only was she beaten, and assaulted, her car was also stolen. Th when she called 911.
Ali said she drank too much and has only fuzzy memories of leaving the restaurant. She doesn’t recall how they ended up back at the Westin hotel near LAX. She only remembers very little.
“I remember standing up in the hotel and he was choking me,” she said Wednesday.
Ali spent a week in the intensive care unit, Los Angeles Deputy District Attorney David Berger said.
“The amount of blows she received caused her brain to basically twist in her skull, causing veins that connect her brain to shear,” Berger told The News. “She was bleeding through her ears, mouth and nose because of the blood building up inside her brain.”
When a person is hit that hard in the head, their brain swells to counteract the blows, but there’s only so much room the skull has, so then thats when the blood starts to move elsewhere to get out. Such is the case with Ali
Berger said police were able to track Ali’s cell phone and found Baker with her stolen car at a nearby Courtyard hotel.
He was convicted of felony assault in April and faces a maximum of 10 years and four months in prison when he is sentenced on June 5th, Berger said.
Ali said the the ordeal has left her feeling depressed and drained. But she is grateful she didn’t die and wants others to be careful about dates with strangers they meet online.
“I don’t want anybody else to go through anything like this. I’m trying to put the word out for…
… the younger generation. Don’t meet up with someone you don’t know like this. Just don’t do it,” she said.
With that in mind, here are three tips to dating online safer
1. First Meetings
Meet somewhere public, obviously. I’m not saying you need to go to a loud, crowded bar, but go somewhere public. Never meet at his home, or yours. Better still, pick a meeting spot that is not in your neighborhood.
Some people prefer to keep first meetings short, such as for drinks, I personally see nothing wrong with meeting for dinner if that’s what you like to do. The main thing is to make sure there are other people around. A walk in a park is romantic, but save it for a later date. (It will be more fun when you’re super into each other anyway!).
2. Tell A Friend
I know it’s cool to tell your girl that you’re going out with a guy you met online, but if it’s your first date, tell your friend everything. Tell your friend something personal about the guy: tattoo, log in to your personal messages with the guy, where he says he works, etc. This sounds scary but you need to give the police something to start with should you actually go missing as a result of an online date. Provide the phone number of the person you’re meeting to your friend. Have a post-date check-in time. Link her to his profile. Whatever you know, make sure she knows it, too. If you’re taking precautions, really take them.
3. Walking Home
Do not walk home with an online date. Many of us are guilty of not following this one. On first online dates, do not let him walk you home. Yes, it’s sweet and chivalrous of them to offer, but they don’t need to know where you live — yet.
Odds are this guy is totally nice and well intentioned, and I get that you don’t want to put him off. Afraid of being rude? Say your feet hurt, you’re exhausted, anything to just politely hop in a cab and head home on your own, even if it’s only a few blocks away. Don’t live in a city with cabs? Drive to your date, separately from him. Not every guy you go out with is going to have bad intentions, but this is a good practice to get into.
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