Sometimes the amount in which we love ourselves pales in comparison to how much even our pet might care for us.
That is the cold, harsh truth.
Everyone in search of love questions themselves and their tactics and if THEY are at fault for not finding it. Although sometime we are at fault, it may not be attributed to shallow reasons such as physical appearance, but the more complicated fact that we do not love ourselves.
We have to set the example of self-worth and knowing what we bring to the relationship before anyone else can value us. If you don’t know your worth then you cannot expect anyone else to. The outside assets that you possess like money, clothes and looks are irrelevant if self-love is inadequate.
Just saying that you love yourself is not enough. A lot of people say it to trick themselves into believing it to no avail. There are five ways that you can gauge whether or not you need to work on self-love before finding it with someone else. If you answer yes to any of the following, take the time and steps to grow your self-worth.
1. Seeing your self-worth through others
To some extent, all of us care about what others think and that is natural. However, if concerns for what others think is a constant theme with you, then you need to step up your self-love. You are confident in yourself and happy with the pursuit of perfection when self-love exists. You are able to face your imperfections with security and confidence because you are a work in progress.
2. Always needing someone
Dependency issues exist among those that can never be satisfied with being single for long. These situations are comparable to those people that can never be tied down. This is because if they are alone then they are left to confront the parts of who they are that they are dissatisfied with. Solitude leads to reflection, which leads to perspective. Once a person’s self-image comes into perspective, they are forced to confront the need for change, which for all of us can be difficult. You must be flexible and be able to adapt and move on. Let go of the past. Be brave and be comfortable with standing alone.
3. Holding back the true you in relationships
Everyone should be who he or she is at all times and those around you should feel privileged to experience that true you. Relationships do not need to be a prison sentence where you are forced to scale back your personality but an opportunity to free yourself in a safe environment. If you are with the right person, they will accept you.
4. Sacrificing your happiness for someone else’s
It is possible to make you AND your mate happy. Self-love goes hand in hand with understanding that you cannot be happy living for someone else. If you are happy first, others around you will automatically be happy with you as well.
Beauty and hair maven Naomi Mackenzie is a freelance writer and business consultant. Her passion is to continuously keep up with the ever evolving techniques and topics as it relates to skin and hair, while helping others to embrace their own definition of beauty in a healthy way. Her blog, KissTheChaos (www.KissTheChaos.com), shares both an educated and personal perspective, sought to spark ongoing discussion. Follow her on Instagram at @oOolala_laa and on Facebook here.
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