As women, we sometimes land ourselves in relationships that aren’t favorable. Many women accept and embrace the affections of men who have multiple women or are even married, relationships with no title, sex without romance or emotions, abuse, mistreatment and downright disrespect. Women are emotional creatures with the need to feel love and affection, and this innate need will sometimes cause a woman to accept things that she typically wouldn’t allow if led by her sense of logic.
If you are a woman that has fallen for a man who treats you less than what you would normally allow, don’t beat up on yourself. Love (or lust) can sometimes numb our logic and it happens to the best of us. Want to know how to avoid the trap of falling for anything just to say “I got a man”? Take a look at these solid pieces of advice and start on a journey towards better treatment and value of self.
Know exactly what you want and deserve.
If you don’t know what you want, then you will accept anything. Before going into any relationship, make a strong determination about what you want the relationship to be, how you want to be treated and what you will and will not tolerate. Think about how you would treat yourself and know what you deserve. If you don’t set standards for yourself from the beginning, chances are you will accept whatever he has to offer and it may not be the treatment that makes you feel loved and appreciated.
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Have a positive sense of self worth.
Having a sense of self and knowing the level of standards you will allow yourself to be held at is critical to how you will be treated within a relationship. Setting an expectancy of respect, loyalty and honesty is a sign of a woman who values herself highly because she understands the importance of being treated well and not accepting anything less. A woman who holds to these standards won’t accept just any type of treatment for the sake of saying “I’m in a relationship.” If you haven’t determined your self worth, then it’s time that you do so. Before anyone else can value you, you must first value yourself. You can’t expect a man to treat you with respect if you don’t respect yourself. Relationship expert Matthew Hussey recommends that women learn to love and value themselves by treating themselves as they would their best friend. Bring love to yourself to raise your awareness of self worth.
Don’t give away your power.
No one likes to get into arguments or confrontations within romantic relationships, but too often women give up their authority within a relationship to avoid what is inevitable in reality. In an ideal situation, there would be no disagreements or arguments within a relationship, but when two people from different backgrounds and life experiences decide to live out their life paths together there is bound to be a butting of heads. Giving away your power doesn’t insure that arguments won’t happen, but it does set you up to be walked on and looked over with little regard. Remain an active member of the relationship and voice your opinion when things are uncomfortable. A healthy relationship is a compromise, not a dictatorship.
Find happiness within yourself.
Too often people place their happiness within the hands of someone else, believing that their joy in life and sense of completion will only arrive when that special someone made specifically for them finally reaches their doorstep. Alas, this is the incorrect way of thinking because if happiness is rooted in another, it will always be a fleeting feeling that is dependent on that person. Finding happiness within yourself is such a crucial step in avoiding the trap of falling for anything because often times women remain in unhealthy or dead in relationships because of the fear of being lonely and alone. Being happy with being alone and knowing that you are responsible for your own happiness will make you more attractive to others and less likely to accept any type of treatment. After all, knowing what makes you happy will give a man a roadmap to your heart if you let him in.
Every woman at some point in her life makes the mistake of allowing treatment that is not up to her ideal standards, but the most important thing to remember is that this behavior can be changed. If you are currently in a relationship that is unsatisfactory or have been in one in the past, now is the time to take the steps to stop settling and avoid it in the future. Remember: know what you want, know your self worth, don’t give away your power and seek happiness in yourself first.
Visit the BlackDoctor.org Relationships center for more articles.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.
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