Despite what some people may think or even hear on social media, there is a growing number of celebrities who are choosing to be celibate. One of those is 90’s R&B singer, Mya. On the Way Up with Angela Yee show, the R&B singer, 44, revealed that she was celibate for seven years, noting that the self-discipline practice brought more “mental clarity” to her life.
“Just doing without, it shifted my mindset,” Mýa shared of her journey. “It was no longer a focus. The rush to be in a relationship, the rush to be married, the rush to be in something because that’s what you’re taught to do — to have kids or procreate. And I think there’s a lot of pressure on women to be able to do that.”
The “Best of Me” singer then stressed the importance of self-love and how “beautiful” it is to embrace it more often. “Love is beautiful, and I think the world always needs more of it, but I think you must start with yourself,” she added. “And I have to start with self always, versus expecting from other sources.”
“So it was just reconditioning,” Mýa shared. “I think it’s something that was necessary because it’s a very spiritual thing. And you must be very selective if you want better results. That self-accountability started with me by shutting that part of my life off.”
Mýa also shared that her decision to practice celibacy was influenced by the “semi-sex symbol” label she acquired early in her career, which also impacted her choice to lead a more private life.
“There’s a lot of things that are said about you and you ingest all of that… at an early age,” she admitted. “And then the aesthetic you may come with is totally opposite of who you actually really are, and it intersects in your life when you’re trying to date or maybe taking photos with other celebrities, and so it can get very tricky.”
“But I think a lot of things that are sacred should just remain private,” the “My Love Is Like…Wo” artist continued, “for me until, of course, I’m solid, and I’m ready and the foundation of us is together, and even then it’s a risk. So I don’t really play with that part of my life publicly.”
Mya isn’t the only music industry veteran who chose to be celibate. Hip-hop legend Redman caught many of his fans by surprise when he revealed that he too went celibate and abstained from drugs for more than two years and speaks highly of abstaining from sex. Redman was best known as the fun-loving, weed-smoking lyrical rapper who partnered with Method Man in movies, TV shows, and more.
But during an interview with Ambrosia For Heads, the rap legend said: “My girl and I broke up maybe three, four years ago. I was going through such a sh*t divorce that lasted seven years that played a role in why it took so long to drop Muddy Waters [Too]. I had so much on my plate.
“I actually fasted two years and a half — no fucking, no smoking. Straight two years and a half. It was the best thing I could have done in my life. It was the best thing.”
Redman admitted there were some challenges along the way, though.
“And believe me, I wanted to, I was fighting it, I was sweating,” he said. “I was in my house going crazy ’cause I live alone. I was constantly talking to myself. Me and God, just back and forth.
“But I made it and it was the best thing I could have done.”
He also talked about the benefits of practicing celibacy: “It cleared out so much distraction. My reception is much clearer now. Having no sex is nothing to me now because it was all feeding the flesh.
“Once I did that, I was able to control how I moved, what I like, what is not good for me.”
Celibacy is the practice of not having sex. But not everyone defines celibacy the same way. Some people abstain from all kinds of sexual contact, including kissing or holding hands. Others only refrain from sexual intercourse. Some people use masturbation in place of partnered sex. Others refrain from that as well.
You might associate celibacy with religion, but faith isn’t the only reason why people decide not to have sex.
Reasons why some people abstain from sex include:
Lower stress. Pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections are serious risks people take if they engage in sexual relationships. Some people prefer to set aside those worries entirely by not having sex. Some people choose to only participate in sexual activities such as kissing, petting, or cuddling. Those activities have a low risk of STIs. Also, performance anxiety plays a part in an increased stress level. So taking that off the table can also lower stress
Increased focus. While abstaining from sex doesn’t directly clear your mind, some people feel more able to concentrate on school or work if they’re not thinking about sex. Choosing to be celibate frees them from thinking about or planning sexual encounters. Without sex as a distraction, they can put all their energy into other activities. Studies have found that girls who delay sexual activity are more likely to finish high school.
Healing from trauma or grief. People who have been through a traumatic experience or lost a loved one may need to put all their energy towards healing. Abstinence gives them time to focus on their emotional needs so that they can recover.
Personal development. Some of the spiritual goals of celibacy can apply even if you aren’t religious. Some people who opt for celibacy do so to work on things such as self-discipline, mental clarity, mindfulness, and self-awareness.
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