There’s a good amount of effort involved when it comes to dating. You want to make sure you find someone whose interests are similar to yours so you can enjoy one another’s company, yet still have some healthy differences so you can learn from each other, and you want to be physically attracted to each other as well.
It may not seem like a lot, however, when you add those two major components to a slew of other important factors, it’s almost a full-time job trying to find the person you can potentially build a future with.
So, if you just deleted your match.com profile after making a likely connection, before you go on professing your love through a Drake lyric, singing “Keke, do you love me? Are you riding?…” here are six subjects to touch on before making it official.
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One of the most important conversations to have at the very beginning of the relationship is discussing what exactly you both want.
Do they want to have a monogamous relationship or are they looking for a friends with benefits type of situation?
Is marriage something they want in the future?
It’s important to ask these questions with your partner to make sure you’re both on the same page and not wasting each other’s time with having different expectations and outlooks on life.
How is their relationship with their family and friends? If they admit to
having issues with their family and don’t really have a relationship with them, ask more questions to explore this topic a bit more. If you’ve already met their closest friends, are they people you can actually see yourself hanging out or getting along with?
Also, keep in mind, the people we spend the most time with says a lot about who we are, so if you notice they hang out with a specific type of crowd you’re not too impressed with, that may be something you want to think about. Also, how have their past relationships ended? Lastly, how is their relationship with money?
This question may sound a little funny but, asking how they are with their finances can provide a major insight into how responsible they are.
Plain and simple, how is their health? Do they have any diseases? How do you both feel about alcohol or marijuana use? If you’re okay with drinking socially and find that marijuana calms you at the end of a stressful day, then it won’t be a deal-breaker if you find out your potential partner feels similarly as well.
Politics have always been an onerous topic, so it’s no surprise that it’s capable of ending a relationship, especially in today’s political climate.
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How important is spirituality to you? If you consider it to be a pretty big deal, then it may be a dealbreaker if you find out this person doesn’t associate themselves with a religion or don’t consider themselves a spiritual person. It’s okay to be open to new experiences but if you feel like their beliefs don’t align with yours, you’ll want to make a decision sooner rather than later.
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Everyone should have some type of goals established, whether it’s to move to the other side of the world or to have a family one day. If you’re making strides to open your own business, are they supportive of that or prefer to date someone that’s amenable to being a stay-at-home spouse? Discussing goals with each other allows you to see more of what you have in common as well as if there’s a future for both of you together.
Of course, there are many other topics to explore later in the relationship, but discussing these topics while getting to know someone will better prepare you both for your next phase together.
Shawna Davis is a wellness journalist and the founder and creator of the wellness lifestyle blog, Froing and Flowing. Beyond the blog, she is a certified yoga instructor, wife, dog mama and is a natural hair enthusiast that’s passionate about health, wellness, and natural beauty. You can follow her on Instagram @itsshawnadavis.
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