If I had a dime for every time I was told I was “too quiet” or that I should get out more as a child, I wouldn’t have to work another day in my life. I’d be retired on some island with an endless supply of books, fuzzy socks, and candles.
Loud places and large groups of people all overwhelmed me as a kid, and still do today as an adult. Introverted children are typically labeled as shy, quiet, or antisocial.
Their behavior is often dismissed as a phase they will grow out of, or a character flaw to be remedied by forced social interaction.
Do you find that your child or teen prefers to spend quiet time alone? Do they get overwhelmed with
crowds and loud noises? Are they incredibly perceptive?
Chances are they may be an introvert.
What is introversion?
Introversion is a personality trait that causes people to feel drained by overly stimulating environments and a lot of social interaction.
That’s in contrast to extroverts who are energized by super
stimulating environments and social interaction.
Introversion is not the same as being shy or having social anxiety, though some introverts do have social anxiety.
It is also not a choice—introverts have nervous systems that react more to stimulation. Simply put, they’re wired to be this way.
What are some signs that my child is an introvert?
1. Prefers playing alone or with
one other child to playing in groups
2. Tends to watch an activity before joining
3. Cautious about exploring the world around them
4. Has a difficult time expressing their thoughts and feelings
5. Is exhausted or irritable after
socializing
6. Quiet in large social settings but lively at home
How can I support my introverted child?
Accept them.
Your child will likely spend their days at school fielding questions about their need for solitude and preference for less stimulating social situations.
Don’t make them have to do the same at home. Celebrate the qualities that make your introverted child
unique and don’t push them to become something they’re not.
Help your child to see their strengths.
When today’s society thinks of leaders, extroverted, loud, and outgoing people are the first to come to mind.
Yet, introverts are naturally more empathetic, emotionally intelligent, and better listeners than extroverts—all desirable characteristics that make for successful people.
Help your child to embrace their
strengths as an introvert.
Schedule alone time.
Where possible, carve out alone time in your child’s schedule during which they can recharge their batteries.
For example, if they spend the afternoon at a birthday party, allow them the chance to sit quietly once they’re home.
Give them time to process.
Introverts tend to think before responding to a situation. Give your child the opportunity to think and
respond to situations rather than pushing them to process things quickly.
Whereas extroverts may like to talk things through to process their feelings and thoughts, introverts are more introspective and process things internally and more slowly.
Create opportunities for creative expression.
Introverts are naturally imaginative with a whole lot going on in their inner worlds, but it can be hard for them to say what’s going on in there.
Writing, painting, and other art forms can provide a way for your introverted child to share what they’re
thinking and feeling.
Educate others about introversion.
Teach family members that there is nothing wrong with being introverted and advise them not to use labels or to make hurtful comments on your child’s way of being.
Jasmine Browley holds an MA in journalism from Columbia College Chicago, and has contributed to Ebony, Jet and MADE Magazine among others. So, clearly, she knows some stuff. Follow her digital journey @JasmineBrowley.
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