Is Technology Ruining Your Dating Life?

If you are over 50 years old, you know dating is significantly different than it was before 1995. Back then, there was no confusion about what a date meant to either person. A “date” could be defined as you and the person going out/meeting to spend time with each other in a romantic or special friendly way. Notice was necessary for a date–at least two or three days’ notification was required with the day, time, and place. Typically, the primary mode of communication was in person or voice-to-voice via phone conversation to plan this special event.

Dating was considered the preliminary stage of a relationship to discern future interactions. You were actively getting out and meeting people, generally focused on spending time with them. “Dating someone” meant you’re spending a significant amount of time with someone with purpose and on a regular basis.

Technology such as texting, social media direct messaging, dating websites, and dating apps have changed the dating scene and meaning dramatically.

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Think about it! The first online dating service (Match.com) was created in 1995. By 2002, it had over 2 million subscribers.

According to Forbes, as of 2013, there were over 2,500 dating services in the US alone. This diminishes the motivation to get out and meet people in person.

Talking over the phone or meeting face-to-face in a public place to have a conversation appears less attractive when you have such accessibilities as looking at a profile picture and communicating via chat room, phone app, text messaging, and social media.

Dating or planning a date has become more of a process than an event. This process can last an unspecified amount of time and a person can spend excessive engagement in “weeding” out people who they feel aren’t marriage potential or even worth spending face-to-face time with.

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In this new age of telecommunication, here are some signs that technology may be affecting your dating life:

1. You identify that your persistent feelings of loneliness and undesirable personality are based on how many people view your profile and contact you for more interest.
2. You only plan a date when the person demonstrates the ability to answer every one of your texts, DMs, and emails within a specific amount of time only you know about.
3. Your inbox is full of unwanted attention because you post every moment of your life on social media from the time you wake up until the time you fall asleep.
4. Your lack of desire to engage in social interactions with friends, family, and community-based celebrations has been replaced with “shopping” on dating apps for the perfect mate. Eliminating the dating stage altogether.
5. You spend more time monitoring/managing your electronic device(s) for communication with people you have yet to meet, don’t plan to meet, or answering messages from multiple people simultaneously instead of staying employed, going to class, enjoying the company of family and friends, or taking care of your mental and physical health.

Dating can be an exciting and fulfilling part of life. Balance is key. You can avoid pitfalls from allowing technology to