In 2016, divorce is normal. With statistics show that 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce, many of us know at least a few couples who have opted for divorce. It’s pretty much a part of life.
But what if marriage wasn’t meant to be broken up?
Chicago pastors Reggie and London Royal are ‘Declaring War on Divorce’ with their new book, Married Life: Building a Divorce Proof Marriage.
The book was born from the Royals’ Married Life ministry where they’ve drawn thousands of singles and married couples, young and old, in their mission to increase the number of happily married couples and lower the divorce rate.
“We’re here to help couples win,” confesses Pastor Reggie. “Married life wasn’t meant for us to struggle with. “Yes, it gets hard and it takes work, but it wasn’t meant for us to struggle. We were meant to get along and enjoy one another.”
In their book, they’ve incorporated real-life lessons from their 21 years married together.
“This book is real,” confesses Pastor London. “In our journey, we have been offended and have been the offender. It’s not like we had to do these steps and then it’s all good. We still have to do the necessary steps every day to make our marriage work.”
The steps she mentions are the 10 key tips to ‘divorce proof’ a marriage mentioned in the book, including:
1. Keep It Exciting—sex isn’t talked about enough in marriage, particularly in the church! Along with intimacy, schedule weekly date nights, spend intentional time together and apart, and refuse to become content or too comfortable with your spouse.
2. Respect Your Spouse—you respected your husband and wife when you first met and decided to marry. That level of respect should only increase after marriage.
3. Communicate—uncover and expose what you feel and what you need, and be honest but not hurtful. Remember that hearing isn’t the same as understanding, and that timing is important. In London’s words, “Communication is to marriage what blood is to life!”
“When we got married years ago, we didn’t have all the truths and wisdom keys that we needed,” says Pastor Reggie. “So…
… our hope is that by articulating them in this book, individuals will be able to learn and apply them early on to truly divorce proof a marriage and grow strong together over the years.”
“Just like if you have a flat tire, you pull over to the side of the road and you have tools in your trunk. You have the tools to get the job done, but you still have to pick the right tools and apply them to get the job done. In everything, we are to get understanding.”
For those who are going through something in their marriage now and who are contemplating divorce, the Royals have a word of encouragement:
“Don’t make a decision on an emotional state. Go back to your vows and remember why you got married in the first place. Deny yourself and put down what you want and serve your spouse. If you are both denying yourself for the other, you always get want you want in return.”
The couple can always be reached for support, encouragement and counseling by clicking here.
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