It is very common for a lot of us to take on the burden of not only ourselves but for our extended family. Studies are showing that many black families deal with this issue and now certain industries are using it against us when deciding the value of a person. They will give better resources such as an approval on rent or a loan for a white person that has $20K and a black person that has $20K because they think more of their money will stay within them and not go to an extended family member.
This sparked a huge debate on Facebook and lead me to develop 5 signs providing for your extended family is hurting you.
1. You Never Have Enough Saved Up Each Pay Period
Do you a goal of how much you want for an emergency fund? How about an investment property? Do you want to start a business? In reality, it takes money to make money. If you feel like you are always behind because of the day to day, I advise you to really visualize how life would be and how much more you can help if you took the time to get your dreams and goals out of your head. Most modern millionaires have a minimum of 7 streams of income. Are you in a position to start your road to 7?
2. You Keep Putting Off Your Dreams
The worst thing to do is to wake up and realize everyone, including those that you
have been sacrificing to help, is out living their dreams but you. Realizing your purpose in life also known as self-actualization is the highest point on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It is important to realize your time in life is limited and there is power in reaching your self-actualization. We see so many stories of people truly realizing your dreams and making a great living only once they step into their self-actualization.
3. You Constantly Are Worried
There’s a difference between worrying about someone and having it affect your daily life. Do you lose sleep, lose your appetite, or are constantly worrying? This may be a sign that you are too involved and it is time for you to make some changes, set some healthy boundaries, and distance yourself. It may be time to realize how toxic this relationship is and how it is affecting you physically.
4. You Stress About Taking Their Phone Calls
Do phone calls that you used to look forward to now stress you out? Are you constantly dreading phone calls from loved ones because you know it is because they’re going to want something? Do you end the calls feeling empty? Do they make you feel bad when you say no? You have now entered into a toxic relationship with your family members if you have these thoughts every time your phone rings. By not saying or doing anything about it, you will develop irreconcilable issues with your extended family and your children will suffer from the strain.
I strongly urge you to visualize what will happen when you are gone or if you were not here anymore? In all honesty, your extended family will find a way to move on. They always do. Now hear me out; what if you dedicated a year to put your dreams on go and not hold? What if you did something selfish for you so you can no longer worry about what if?
As hard as this concept may be; we have to be selfish and put 100% effort into our goals for them to come true. Our other peers are doing it and creating million dollar companies, buying up the block and taking that vacation they always wanted. Insanity is the definition of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I urge everyone to do something uncomfortable and get to living your dreams so you can bring your family to the next generation.
Danielle Mitchell is an International Marketing Strategist and founder of Average Black Girl. At Average Black Girl, the mission is to create more black millionaires through marketing, web design, product management and securing partnerships. Connected with Average Black Girl is her partner brand called Melanin Business. Melanin Business is a free global business directory that is free to sign up, add a business and leave a review.
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