How to Cope After the Loss of a Child

Losing a child is one of the most devastating experiences any parent can endure. The overwhelming grief, the sense of loss, and the profound emotional pain are unlike anything else. While no words can fully capture the heartache, finding ways to cope is essential for healing and moving forward, even when it seems impossible.

Types of pregnancy and infant loss:

• Miscarriage: The most common type of pregnancy loss, is the loss of a fetus before 20 weeks of pregnancy.
• Embryonic pregnancy: This is when a fertilized egg implants in the uterine wall but never develops. 
• Chemical pregnancy: A very early miscarriage that usually occurs in the first few weeks after conception.
• Ectopic pregnancy: This is when an embryo implants in the fallopian tubes or outside the uterus. 
• Preterm loss: The loss of pregnancy between 20 and 36 weeks of gestation.
• Stillbirth: The birth of a deceased baby after 20 weeks of pregnancy.
• Neonatal death: The birth of a live baby that dies within the first week and up to 28 days of life.

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How to cope after the loss of a child:

• Take care of yourself: Eat regular meals(healthy meals), be sure to rest when needed, and exercise regularly(low-impact exercises, like walking and yoga).
• Take as much time as you need to: There is no timetable to feeling grief. Grief may even come and go, this is why you should always give yourself some grace(silence negative self-talk, practice gratitude, practice self-compassion, and practice not being perfect). 
• Express your feelings: Allow yourself to feel. Acknowledge when you’re feeling sad, angry, confused, guilty, shocked, etc. You can express your feelings in many different ways. Cry when you need to let it all out, write and/or journal, paint, dance, or even sing. 
• Get professional support: From a grief counselor, therapist or spiritual leader. Professional support will help you to better understand your thoughts and feelings, help to build and use coping skills/strategies, help to identify unhealthy behaviors, and help to establish routines for better day-to-day wellness and well-being.
• Join a support group: Sharing your grief with those who understand may bring on emotional connections, which will make you feel less alone and/or isolated. Support groups provide room for emotional release, new coping ideas, information sharing, a sense of pride, sense of hope, and may even improve your mood and decrease psychological distress(a state of emotional suffering that can include a range of symptoms and experiences that are often troubling or confusing).
• Get on a routine: Routines are good for your mental health, physical health, safety and productivity.

I strongly encourage you to participate in World Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, as it allows you to provide comfort and support to those who have experienced infant loss and to raise awareness about this very important issue. 

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How to raise awareness:

• Support grief counseling organizations and/or services: You can contribute (volunteer your time, buy tickets to events/online gatherings, donate financially) to organizations that provide grief counseling and support services to individuals and families affected by pregnancy and infant loss.
• Show face at events: Attend and participate in local events, memorial services, or eleven online gatherings/informative sessions that focus on pregnancy and infant loss awareness.
• Sit in moments of silence: Join in moments of reflection and silence to honor and remember the lives of babies who have passed away.
• Share your story of pregnancy/infant loss: If you have personally experienced pregnancy or infant loss, consider sharing your story to raise awareness. Doing so will bring comfort and support to those who previously have or may be going through a similar experience.

RELATED: Dads Grieve Too: Coping with the Loss of a Baby

I want to leave you with this, there is no right way to grieve. How you cope after the loss of a child is your journey alone.