Being in a relationship can be tough and no relationship is going to be 100% perfect all the time. But what’s even tougher is telling your partner you’re unhappy. So, what happens when you are unhappy in a relationship? Well, you are full of emotion, you may experience depression, loneliness, and mental and physical exhaustion. Being unhappy in a relationship can be due to varying factors.
These factors can be from outside the relationship and they can possibly be from within the relationship. Expressing to your partner that you are unhappy will be one of the hardest things you do but consider the weight that you’ve been carrying for so long be lifted with relief. Understand that this conversation will be very emotional and can have an adverse response, so be prepared for tears and anger.
As a person who has been experiencing unhappiness in their relationship, I was able to create a few small tips to help you communicate to your partner that you are unhappy. These tips literally saved my relationship because I was on the brink of giving it all up without having a proper conversation to what I was feeling.
Think about why you are unhappy
Take time to yourself to think about all the things that are contributing to why you are unhappy. What external and internal factors contribute to your unhappiness? What, in your relationship, is contributing to your unhappiness? Think about this and be ready to talk about it.
Create a list
Take time to make a list of all the things that are contributing to your unhappiness. This list can include issues within your relationship, finances, work, etc. I find that creating a list not only
allows you to see all the issues contributing to your lack of happiness but helps you to verbalize the issues to your partner. Because my partner and I have been going through a lot this past year, I came up with the idea for us both to write down a list of why we should stay together, why we should break up, what expectations we have for one another, and finding a solution.
Making the list and talking about all the things we were feeling and experiencing was the best thing we could have done. The list saved our relationship because we were better able to understand each other better when it comes to dealing with our issues. Having the conversation was not easy, but there was a weight lifted.
Open and honest communication This the most important tip to telling your partner that you are unhappy. Often, people will bottle their emotions for so long that the relationship reaches a point of no return. Being open and honest is key to communicating with your partner so they can fully understand where you are coming from. Being open and honest could possibly cause an adverse response from your partner because they may think that they are the reason for your unhappiness when they may only play a small role in your unhappiness. However, they may play a crucial role in your unhappiness.
The main point is releasing the feelings no matter what the response may be. For me, I was getting to a point where I began to mask my feelings and emotions so much that I didn’t care if I expressed my unhappiness to my partner. It was to the point where I was fine giving up on the relationship. This is what you don’t want to do because you may end up regretting it in the long run. As hard and uncomfortable as a conversation can be, it’s better to deal with the level of being uncomfortable. Being unhappy in a relationship can be due to outside factors and not feeling like you have support from your partner.
Solution
Nothing is solved without a solution. If you have a conversation with your partner about
being unhappy and there is no solution, more than likely you will continue to be unhappy and the relationship with continuing to be in a decline. So, when writing your lists, it is important that you have a list of solutions that both you and your partner collectively decide what solutions will work for you both. You may try one solution and it doesn’t work, but you have a whole list of solutions to try.
Being unhappy in a relationship doesn’t mean you should give up on the relationship. A healthy relationship is based on open and honest conversation. After talking with your partner, you will know if the relationship is worth saving or not. I hope these tips are helpful in telling your partner that you are unhappy.
“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” — Epicurus
Elissa Mirsky, known to most as Elle, is a published author and former editor-in-chief of Bold Magazine. She believes food shouldn’t be boring and every meal should be fashionably edible. Follow her on Instagram @mylifebeingelle where she is documenting her journey to eat well, live life, and love self.
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